The Best Day of My Life

So here it is. My anniversary has arrived. I was finally able To send that card and her reaction was good. I realize more each day how important it is to show her that She is on my mind. As I said in an earlier post, we aren't able to be together today because of my work. However, I have coordinated with family there to help me surprise her with lunch so we will be able to have a date over skype. I know it isn't what I had wanted. If I had the means I would have flown out and surprised her in person. I think she will like that I am atleast trying to be creative. I got her a gift, but wasn't able to pick it up until tonight so it will be a couple of days late. I hope that she likes it. You know, I didn't realize before how much time and effort actually go.into loving someone (like I said in my first post, I was one of "those guys"). What I also didn't realize is how much fun it can be. I find myself having new ideas to show my wife I care, and even if so E of them seem small, like the card, it is amazing the affect it has on her, and on me as well. I feel happier and every time I do something I want to do more. not that it has to get more expensive each time, but that thee is more thought behind each gesture.

So its been a few days, but things are going pretty well. It has been difficult the last few days being away from my family. Especially my wife. One of the hardest things has actually a jealous streak that I didn't. Know I had. With my wife being in another stateits hard enough, but she is doing a play and is surrounded by other men. I trust my wife completely, I just have a hard time trusting others. My wife is the type of woman that attracts people to her without any effort. Its just who she is, but I find myself getting jealous ofnthe guys she is doing the play with. It is interesting tonsay the least to seenwhat we learn about ourselves when.wenaeenput in different situations. anyway, I surprised my wife the other day with another bouquet of flowers, but I have still to send the card I bought for her. Don't get me wrong, I don't plan on making it flowers every time I give her something, it was just a good surprise. I sent them same day so she woiuld get them between shows. I am now looking to expand. Three weeks and counting untilnour anniversary. I have got to make it memorable.

Once again here I am. Its been almost a week since I started this now and I have to say it is a good reminder for me to keep what I am doing in the front of my mind. It also helps strengthen the reasons why. I am feeling more and more that feeling of WANTING to do something for my wife every day. The only problem now is finding ways and means, you know the money thing, to do it. I am trying to start simple, like this week I will be sending my wife a card just to let her know I am thinking about her. At the same time, with our anniversary coming up, I want to do something she will remember. So, today I created an account on gofundme.com. its a crowdfunding website to help people who have ideas like a business or something. This site also does charitable ideas as well like special birthday parties and things like that. I put in an idea to help my wife start recording because she loves to sing and if I raise enoughin the next weeknor so, I was going to fly out and surprise her on our anniversary. I don't know what will happen, but I hope I at least get enough to let her have a few hours of recording time. That would be great! If anyone feels like donating it is under "help me help my wife sing for our anniversary." It really is a great thing to feel when you know you are getting your priorities straightened out.

So, here I am a few days later. I have returned to my "home away from home" after being with my family for a little less than a week. I am seeing now every day a little more what I need to do, and why it is so important to keep a relationship alive. My wife is acting in a play where she is at, and tonight is her opening night. I had thought beforehand to send her flowers tonight, which I did, to congratulate her on the performance. The only problem is, not knowing this, (not that I wanted her to know) she mentioned that she would like to get some while I was there. Luckily, she called and was pleased at the gift. I am happy that it worked out, but this shows the situation I am in. This is not the first time that I have had to be told that my wife wants something, but it does show how little I have been listening.
I am not writing this to be sappy by any means, but I have realized that if my wife is truly the most important person in my life, should I not be more than willing to do these things for her? She does them for me all the time. For instance, I don't know if I mentioned it before but when I arrived to see my family, my wife had arranged a hotel room for her and I for the first night I was there. This is quite typical for her. She is a very giving, outgoing person. That's one of the many things I love about her.
Moving on, I am now focusing on doing SOMETHING for our anniversary which is this month. How I am going to pull it off, I am not sure, but we will see. I hope that there aren't many women out there that have this problem with their husbands, but I do know that it is an easy trap to fall into. Like I said, I didn't even realize that it had happened until it was too late. Now I am trying to get back on track, or on track whatever the case may be.

As I start this blog, some of you might be wondering, "why would anyone make a blog like this?" Well, I was thinking the same thing for some time, but it is something that I have found that I need to do. As I write this my ninth anniversary is a little less than a month away. I still don't have any plans for it. I know that my wife and I will be apart for it (work related), and I haven't even started to look for a gift yet. Short and simple I have become one of "those guys." I didn't think that it would happen to me, but looking back on my relationship with my wife, it actually started quite early, and I have been unwilling to take that look in the mirror to truly change it. Sure I would do nice things for her once in a while, and I am very supportive of her hobbies and passions, but overall, I really haven't provided the type of relationship that not only she, but I deserve.
To give a little background, we got married young, not too young, but young, and I didn't really have a direction in my life. I kind of knew what I wanted to do, but I didn't have a plan. All I knew is that I was in love with this woman, and I still am even more than ever. She on the other hand, was highly motivated (she still is), and was looking forward to going to college. I know that I will probably get some hateful comments from the women out there, but she gave up college and married me (believe me, I was with you for a long time). Now, nine years have passed, we have three beautiful children, and I am in the military and pursuing my degree. She is still as amazing as ever, is currently pursuing one of her many talents, and has only grown in beauty.
The problem is this, I have never been the most motivated, or confident of people, and I am not a great planner, gift giver, etc.. In other words, I am a simple man, give me a smile and a kiss and I am good. I never really realized this was a problem (even though I have been told many times by my wife), until now. This has caused our relationship to become very fragile, and in all honesty I am worried about the outcome. Men, I want you to listen to me when I say, our wives are beautiful and they deserve to be paid the utmost respect. Like I said, I don't consider myself a bad guy, just stupid. I say stupid because in the past nine years, even though I have given my wife all the time that I could, I haven't nearly paid enough attention to her wants and desires.
And that brings me to the point of this blog. It is my intention, over the next year (i.e. by my wife and I's 10th anniversary) to completely change my thoughtless, uncaring ways, and believe me I am open to suggestions. I will track my progress over the following months of what I am doing to better myself for my wife. To some this may sound like I have given up my manhood. On the contrary, I have found it and I know that being with this woman is where I want it to be.